parenthood - expectations vs. reality

What was your impression of parenthood before you became a parent?

Mine involved daydreams of blonde haired little cherubs (hey, I'm blonde so naturally my perfect offspring would be too) - trips to the park, to the zoo, walking along hand in hand through flowery fields picking daisies and making daisy chains. I imagined them running up to me when I got home from work (because naturally, I would be returning to work, my life would go on as it had!). I had visions of home baked treats, of organic purees, lots of play that would build their imaginations (no TV in our household, no sir!). I have to admit now, that I even imagined mornings with the whole family in bed, cuddling up together in some sort of golden glow.

Then there was reality......

Currently, we have two young children - Miss just over 2, and Mr. 3 months. And I have to say that the reality in this scenario does not REMOTELY resemble that which is pictured above.

What is the reality? let me paint a picture for you. I will begin by describing a typical morning in our household.

The day starts at 5:30am when our three month old son wakes up for a feed. This takes about 20 minutes. I place him back in his bassinet in the hope that he will drop back off to sleep. I crawl back into bed and manage to catch another hour of sleep before the day begins for real.

Oh, did I forget to mention that it's the day after new year's eve? luckily for me, I got to bed at the relatively early time of 11pm the night before!

The day begins for real at 7am when our daughter wakes up. Then we all trundle downstairs to get breakfast. I make some toast for our daughter, put the baby on the play mat (and hope that she won't jump all over him). Does she want to eat toast for breakfast? nope. Spend almost 20 minutes trying to get her to eat her toast and have something to drink so that her grumpiness at being hungry won't escalate into a full blown tantrum. During this time I think wistfully of the days before kids, of being able to have breakfast in bed and start the day slowly. Dreams are free!

I gobble down some porridge and a cup of tea while our daughter climbs all over me demanding I read her a story. I read her 'Greedy cat and the sneeze' for what feels like the hundredth time then I feed the baby again while trying to keep our daughter occupied at the same time. Have you ever tried to keep a busy and spirited toddler occupied while confined to the couch with both your arms full? I say a silent prayer of thanks for laptops and the wiggles (because lets admit it, sitting through another rendition of 'get ready to wiggle' really is the lesser of two evils).

The next hour is spent trying to keep our daughter occupied. She is teething at the moment (back molars, nasty) so this means that she is grumpier than usual and something as minor as her not being able to find a toy she wants can lead to a major meltdown. Alongside keeping her entertained, is the chores. Breakfast dishes, washing, picking up mess from the floor.

Finally it's time to put the baby down for his nap. I go into our room to feed him before putting him to bed as he is getting tired and grumpy. He's crying, and our daughter is crying outside the room (screaming actually). Apparently there is a toy inside the room that she wants. As I am feeding the baby, I am unable to pick it up for her and in the meantime he starts crying too. Finally get him into bed, get her the toy, and take her downstairs.

Then it is time to hang the washing out. For some reason, two small people seem to create SO MUCH WASHING. You wouldn't believe how much. I swear our washing machine is probably going to expire from overuse any day now. And if you don't keep on top of the washing you end up with a huge backlog that threatens to overtake your laundry room. So my daughter and I hang the washing out together before heading back downstairs.

I give our daughter a snack of 'square cheese' (processed cheese). Mmmm, yummy! but wait, wasn't this the very thing I swore I woud never do as a parent? I remember looking down my nose at those people who gave their kids chips and biscuits and other disgusting processed snacks. Now I have become one of those very people myself - the kind that have bags of tiny teddies in their nappy bag or little packets of crackers. Good god, next thing I know I'll be giving her chips and chicken nuggets for dinner! seriously though, whatever happened to that golden ideal I had of only giving her wholesome (preferably home made and organic) food? how did it come to this?! the only aspect of this original parenting 'plan' that I am still proud to say I uphold is that we never give her soft drinks and she only very rarely gets juice. Do I still get good mummy points for that?

Well, the morning is almost over. I haven't accomplished much (apart from my kids still being alive so I guess that's something), although I did manage to remove a rather large bogey from my son's nose with a bulb syringe! high five to me!

Finally it's time for our daughter's nap, and by some small miracle our son is still asleep at the same time. So here I am, writing this blog post and looking around me at the dirty dishes piled up on the sink, the toys scattered around the floor (they're competing for space with all the food crumbs), and the MOUNTAIN of washing waiting to be ironed - and surprisingly enough, I can't be bothered doing any of it. Instead, I'm going to sit here for a while and contemplate things for a bit, and wonder how on earth I couldn't have foreseen how this was going to be!

What is the reality of parenthood like for you? did it meet your expectations?