Anxiety

One of the hardest aspects for me regarding being a parent is how to manage the anxiety that I feel on an almost daily basis.

For me, the anxiety is caused by the overload of information out there. I'm talking about what you read in the newspaper, on the internet, in books, on TV...... with such a wealth of information, it's hard to discriminate between what is useful for you as an individual and what isn't. It's so easy to just google a problem that you may be having, but this can lead to conflicting advice. For instance, I recently went through a stage where my son was not sleeping for longer than 45 minutes at a time. In hindsight, this was just a phase he was going through and I should have known that like all phases, it would eventually pass. However, I got really wound up in finding 'a cure' for his catnapping. I talked to other parents, I posed questions on Facebook and on parenting forums. I googled endlessly for a 'solution'. All the advice I received made me feel more and more confused as to how to proceed. Should I play white noise through an iphone like one friend had suggested? should I wear him in a sling? feed him back to sleep? take him for a car ride to try to get him to sleep longer? the more advice I received, the more confused and anxious I became.

A lesson I have learnt through this experience is to parent your kids in a way that feels right to you. Trust your instincts. It is so easy to get caught up in the latest 'fad' of parenting, or to feel as though you're not doing an adequate job because you are not doing the same thing as everyone else. Another thing that has helped is learning acceptance. It feels like forever at the time, especially when you are going through a rough patch with your baby, but it won't last forever. This too will pass - a useful piece of advice from a friend that I keep in the forefront of my mind when things get tough. I like to think that raising kids is a mixed bag - the best of times and the worst of times all rolled into one. I'm not going to delude myself and feel disappointed because it's not what I expected when I set out on this parenting journey. There are magical moments, sure, but the majority of the time it's routine, it's repetitive, and it's damn hard work. But is it worthwhile? of course. That goes without saying.